Instead He Took The Bus
by Neon and Mali
Summary: Mumbles incoherently Yeah, we'll take the bus if we wanna! VEIL LIKES PUBLIC TRANSPORT! Chapter 2 UP! Like the Shania Twain song. Flamers welcome. We luv you. Yez we doooo.... hahahha.....
1. Default Chapter

Mali: HI! IT'S 5:30 IN THE MORNING AND NEON AND I HAVE BEEN UP ALL NIGHT HAVING CAFFEINE AND SUGARY STUFF AND TOAST!  
  
Neon: SUPPORT TRIPOD OR I'LL BASH YA!  
  
Mali: Don't! You'll scare the reviewers!  
  
Neon: What reviewers?  
  
***  
  
Instead He Took The Bus  
  
The Story of Veil Sixclaw's Trip (and possibly other Redwall characters will be mentioned)  
  
It was a cold winters day in that fine sunny afternoon. There was nothing to do, so Veil decided to go shopping.  
  
And because of his love of public transport, instead of taking a car, he took a bus. It also may be because he doesn't have a license, because he's just a kid, so hug a tree and be happy, ya freakin' liar.  
  
"Don't knock Gareth, he's a legend!" said the man selling shoes.  
  
"YEAH!" cried the ants, who were marching two by two hurrah.  
  
Anyway, then Veil decided to buy a mango, but he couldn't buy some mangoes because he had no money.  
  
So he went home and tripped over the fifty-foot tree that was nestled safely in the middle of the sky.  
  
Matthias was watching the footy! Canberra were beating the Yankees.  
  
"GO YOU LITTLE BEAUTIES!" the leader of the flea circus said, as he ran around on a trampoline powered bicycle. Then he fell over and broke his skull, so let's all forget Jeff the frangipani.  
  
Jeff's a legend, don't knock him, Kakarotto's a sick name!  
  
Gonff was smushing rocks with his head, as Bryony entered the sea, discussing the fact that she was alive with Spongebob Squarepants, the leader of tree-monkeys.  
  
FIDU YT7W593P;HYJFDYTG9Pqyrbghnpsf9hy(W. frfwefdewfed-  
  
As I seized the keyboard back from Neon, Matti took up netball, and got banged over the head with a rogue bludger, yes the kind from Harry Potter ya liars!  
  
Then the discman from hell came around and started shooting Avril Lavigne and Nikki Webster CD's at everyone, and as the grains of sand ran for their lives, the sun kinda sorta broke, so he have to use a flash light.  
  
Now me and Neon are gonna go play Tekken, so seeya in a few minutes!  
THANK YOU.  
  
As we were saying, Martin was eating fruitcake and chocolate topping, all mixed up into one fine pasty solid topping vegetable thingy.  
  
SO NOBODY DOES CHICKEN LIKE KFC!!!!  
  
The curtains suddenly attacked, and Veil fought 'em all with a moth and a lightbulb, who were both conveniently called George. Then he ate them.  
  
Then everyone watched Turner and Hooch while doing an Irish jig, except for Basil, who is crap and is against the Irish because they invented potatoes, so he just did the robot.  
  
Might I add he was on a rock island that was floating on the sea floor.  
  
But enough about that.  
  
We haven't even uncovered the conspiracy between the butterflies, bunny rabbits and calculators.  
  
I'M THE REAL SHADY, YES I'M THE REAL SHADY, ALL YOU OTHER SLIM SHADY'S ARE JUST IMATATING, SO WON'T THE REAL SLIM SHADY PLEASE STAND UP and clean aisle five!?  
  
"DON'T EAT MY TOOTHPASTE!" screamed Veil, who was back from Vegas.  
  
Rose had nicked of with Bridget Jones's Diary, and had shoved it under the rock of magical wonders.  
  
Mali doesn't like her English teacher. Anyways, then the rock ate people.  
  
"What rock?" asked a random person, making sure there was no gum on his shoe, most probably Martin.  
  
"The rock of magical wonders, ya der-brain." Martin answered himself.  
  
He then attempted to fly, succeeding only in getting a mild concussion and major brain damage.  
  
Or maybe this was before the scarecrows flew around and took all the calculators.  
  
Then the phone rang.  
  
The was some guy on the other line, telling them to get more meat, so they shot him with a revolver that was aimed at the moon, but the moon didn't die, for it is invincible, DON'T SHOOT THE MOON YA LIARS!  
  
"Yes Mum." said Matti, wearing a pink tutu and balancing upon a glass filled with lemonade that can only be purchased from Oompa Loompas.  
  
And in the magical land of Oz.  
  
"I don't think we're in Kansas anymore Toto." said Dorothy.  
  
The small dog then bit off her head, grew a fifth leg and flew away, for the dog is actually Superman.  
  
But enough about the Matrix.  
  
Ya see, the computer is, like, alive, and it's like, eating people, so, like, RUN.  
  
So now here's a chance to tell us about yourself.  
  
TOO LATE AHAHA!  
  
The ants go marching three by three hurrah hurrah..  
  
DON'T DIE IT'S NOT FUN!  
  
Then in the DBZ world they all beat Buu and had a jolly party.  
  
Meanwhile, Veil was still angry about not being able to purchase his mango, so he proceeded to egg the White House.  
  
He was then arrested for petty theft and placed in a high security prison, but he escaped by tying a sock to a shoe and threw it at the guard.  
  
So then he was goin' along, and he threw a rock at someone, 'cuz he didn't know who he was.  
  
Then the butterflies flew along in a big steaming mass of numbers and colours. It was so beautiful.  
  
Then the leprechauns laughed evilly, 'cuz everyone knows that leprechauns are just so evil.  
  
Then everyone in the world took a glass elevator to the moon, except for Veil, who caught the bus and FINALLY got his mango, ya liars!  
  
Support Tripod or I'll bash ya!  
  
THE END (ya liars)  
  
Kakarotto's a sick name!  
  
DISCLAIMER: WE OWN SOME SUGAR! 


	2. So Then He Took A Taxi

So Then He Took A Taxi  
  
So Veil was happily eating his mango, when Jonesy popped up.  
  
"DIE EVIL SLUG SPAWN OF SA-TAN!" he screamed, slammed the toilet seat down, taped it down, then flushed the toilet.  
  
"Oh, yeah." said Veil, ignoring the sticky juice currently running down his face.  
  
"YA FAT!" shrieked Asmodeus.  
  
Jonesy then pranced off to read 'Things that Go Word Book'.  
  
"Things that make you go 'mmm'." Friar Hugo said, prancing out of Maccas.  
  
"There was. seven in the bed, the little one said, roll over, roll over, so they all rolled over and one fell out, flat on the floor with his guts hanging out, pleeeeease remember to tie a knot in your pajamas, sin-gle beds are only made for SIX!" sang Rose Madder, a picture from a Stephen King novel.  
  
"But I thought single beds were made for nine," said Matthias, bemused.  
  
"SIX, you foolish, foolish fool, SIX," Rose Madder said, rolling her eyes as she jumped on the next boat to Starburst country, USA.  
  
Veil suddenly raised his hand. "TAXI!" he screamed, and one pulled up, but the driver was indeed Beaver Clarendon.  
  
"SOMEBODY STOLE MY TOOTHPICK!" cried he. "KISS MY BENDER!" he proclaimed, then driving off.  
  
Veil stared after him. "I asked for a taxi." he pouted, "I WANT A GOD DAMN TAXI, AND I WANT ONE NOW!"  
  
"Yeah, yeah, shut up, Veruca." said Charlie Bucket, accompanied by fifty- odd Oompa Loompas.  
  
"Aw, go eat some cabbage soup, Charlie." snapped Veil.  
  
Cornflower ate some cherry-flavoured tinsel tomatoes, and they were all happy.  
  
Until the realised that it was indeed Cornflower.  
  
So then they, like, waged nuclear war upon, like, Cluny's hoard, but, like, Cluny's hoard was in bunkers, and, like, Cluny was, like, dead, so it was all, like, pointless.  
  
So eat CHEESE and grow a third eye, like Tien.  
  
Speedy Gonzales then fell off a cement outcrop, even though he was seat- belted in.  
  
He then felt like a beggar, so he called a taxi and went to Hong Kong, and became the emperor of China.  
  
"HOW COME I DON'T HAVE A TAXI?" screamed Veil.  
  
"Because ya mum." said Matti.  
  
"Err, Matti, ya gay!" Veil snapped, glaring at him with glowing orange eyes.  
  
Matthias then started playing with BARBIES, and Teresa was getting married to Ken, but Kelly objected, and Barbie married Ken.  
  
He then gave Teresa a haircut, and had to order a replacement head, or at least nick one from the shops.  
  
He then screamed out, "AFRICA!", and transformed into (The Thoroughly Pissed Off) Matthias.  
  
Cheddar the Cheese then entered and ate his head.  
  
And then they put up a giant Christmas tree, decked with candy canes and shrunken heads, and performed Satanic rituals.  
  
"AH WANT MAH TAXI!" screamed Veil, slamming a rock into his forehead.  
  
It then got stuck and he had to go to hospital.  
  
Unfortunately for him, he took an ambulance, not a taxi.  
  
Someone put a jetpack on, most likely Harrison Ford, said. "Bah bah ba-DUM, bah-doooo!" and zoomed away into the jagged horizon.  
  
Henry Devlin then ate him, and said, "Needs sauce."  
  
He then stumbled head first into the horizon and shattered it.  
  
Joey Jo Jo Jr. Shabbadoo then ran in, screaming hysterically, but he was quickly gunned down.  
  
"But why is the rum gone!?" demanded Uncle Robert.  
  
"Because the elf monkey said so," snapped Bryony, dropping a bucket of rum over Uncle Roberts head.  
  
Veil then took the bus home. "Still couldn't find a god damn taxi." he muttered. "YA LIARS!"  
  
Beaver then returned, in a dazzling array of jewelled sparkliness. He then shoved a handful of marshmallows into his mouth and said, "Eight chubby bubbies!"  
  
Although it sounded a bit more like, "Eff schubby mummys."  
  
Veil rang up the taxi and complained vehemently to them. He was then banged on the head by an anvil that fell from the sky.  
  
Fc ujrmxtdrctf nmyjyu tjcgnvmk  
  
Now, THAT'S hilarious.  
  
No, seriously.  
  
LAUGH, YOU FOOLS! IT 2003's "I fart in your general direction!".  
  
SO RIDE ON THE MAGICAL SCHOOL BUS!  
  
Um. love, actually.  
  
Suddenly, Basil's phone rang. "Ring ring," went Basil's phone. He picked it up. "Hello?" he inquired. He paused, then grinned. "OGGY!' he cried. "OGGY OGGY OGGY! OINK OINK OINK! OGGY OGGY OGGY! OINK OINK OINK! OGGY!" He paused. "OGGY!" He paused again. "OGGY OGGY OGGY! OINK OINK OINK!" He giggled. "Yeah, see ya later." He hung up.  
  
Veil smiled painfully. "Do you still keep in touch with Oggy?" he asked.  
  
Tim and Gareth entered. "DON'T NICK OUR LINES!" they yelled.  
  
"We'll nick whatever the hell we wanna nick!" snapped Veil. "YOINK!" he then stole Gareth's milk.  
  
"Merry Chritsmas, everybody!" proclaimed Basil.  
  
Veil then rocked out on the banjo, and everyone started doin' the Daffodil.  
  
"Good night ST. LOUIS!" cried Veil, jumping into Beaver's taxi and heading off to the Australian Idol after-party, which was still going, like, three months later.  
  
THE END. 


End file.
